Things You Don't Want to Hear...

...Your 4/5 year-old say to you at 6:30 in the morning; after you have pulled the blankets over your face in a futile attempt to pretend you are still asleep...



"Look at this. It used to be stapled to the corner of the mattress; now it's not"


In a very matter-of-fact, 'by-the-way', kind of voice--"Uh, Mom, there's a really big spider right by your head"



"Did you leave this chocolate out for me?"



"I can't find the little knife."

This last in reference to a teeny-tiny kitchen paring knife that he is sometimes allowed to use under supervision to cut a banana or something else soft.

The Apple Doesn't Fall Far... Installment #3

Mama and Joshua
This pic was obviously taken a while ago...(ok, so they all were, look at those little cute chubby hands in the second pic, he was only three!)
I found him trying to crochet, so cute!

Mixing peanut butter and honey to make "non-cook cookies"

Have You Ever Noticed How Some Junk Food Tastes Terrible When You Have Not Eaten It In a While and Some Persists In Being Yummy When You Know Better?

This is by no means a complete list, lol! I felt the need to post something semi-silly today, so here goes...

Disgusting!!! Bleeeeaack! I used to like these?!?!?!?!?!?
I'm not picking on Coke here, any soda now tastes like chemical syrup. Yum!

Ranch dressing is one of those that tastes good once in a while. (again not picking on a brand, in fact I've never had this particular one:) I had some on a taco the other night and it was pretty good, tangy and creamy. But I'm guessing that is mostly because it was well disguised under the many other taco flavors and only the good parts came through. That's because if I eat it on a veggie it tastes nasty. Plastic and chemical cocktail, mmmm.

I'm pretty pleased to be losing my taste for these babies. Never thought that would happen! :) Once in a great while I'll get an uncontrollable urge to have a maple bar. The last time I gave in they(uh, i mean it) tasted pretty good. But mostly it sounds like eating glue and sugar mixed together...oh, wait! That's exactly what they are lol... I am rather fond of the gluten-free, sugar-free (well, refined white sugar anyway, they had a little agave nectar in them) donuts I made back in October for our donut party:)

Now, sadly, there are still some things that taste pretty darn good:

In the number one spot... Nuff said.

Sometimes too sweet, but too often Yummy!

No further comment...

What junk foods have you lost a taste for after abstaining? Which one's still get you?

:) Smiles (:

For Silas and Josh

"And there will be no night there--no need for lamps or sun--for the Lord God will shine on them. And they will reign forever and ever."
Goodbye. We'll miss you guys, just the thought of your absence leaves a hole, and I didn't even see you except at weddings and funerals. I can't imagine what your family is going through right now. We'll be praying for them.

I love to think of you "up there" looking "down" at all of us. Continuing your journey of life. Only now you get to be face to face with Jesus. Wow! What's it like, seeing a bigger picture than any of us can see yet? How different it must look. I can imagine Nancy up there, cheering wildly for all of us that she prayed for every day of her life. What are you doing right now? Are you praying for peace for your family and friends? Praising God with all your might? Exploring the wonders of heaven? All of the above, all at once?

Well, I guess we'll find out some day not so far away. See you then.

Holding On

Always a cautious driver.
"The cautious one" they
all say.
But late for school today
did you decide to hurry?
Did you decide to push the
limits?
Just this once...

A steel box seems
invulnerable
an illusion broken
When there is nothing left
but a soda can someone
has stepped on
We see the reality of the
fragile shell.

You are gone but safe.
We have peace
certainty.
But still we ache for
the emptiness left
behind.
A family mourns
their son is missing.

The passenger is as good
as dead
some say, relentless.
His brain is gone never
to return and a machine
does the living.
But we will not let go
We surround you with hope!

These stories will hold us up
lift our heads above waves.
"I was brain-dead once,
no hope of return.
Now I am a surgeon."
He walks the halls where
You lie--asleep for now.

A mother holds her son's hand
as the months slip by.
"Let him go", they say,
"say good-bye, there is no hope"
"unplug him" " walk away..."
You held on, and he stands
beside you today.
We will not let go!

We are waiting for you
speaking
words of life, hope
comfort.
We are holding on.


Psalm 30:1-3--- I will praise you , Lord, for you have rescued me. You refused to let my enemies triumph over me. O Lord my God, I cried out to you for help, and you restored my health. You brought me up from the grave, O Lord. You kept me from falling into the pit of death.

Psalm 34:1-3--- I will praise the Lord at all times. I will constantly speak his praises. I will boast only in the Lord; let all who are discouraged take heart. Come, let us tell of the Lord's greatness; let us exalt his name together.

Psalm 47:5-6---- God has ascended with a mighty shout. The Lord has ascended with trumpets blaring. Sing praise to God, sing praises; sing praise to our King, sing praises!

Psalm 65:5-8----You faithfully answer our prayers with awesome deeds, O God our savior. You are the hope of everyone on earth, even those who sail on distant seas. You formed the mountains by your power and armed yourself with mighty strength. You quieted the raging oceans with their pounding waves and silenced the shouting of the nations. Those who live at the ends of the earth stand in awe of your wonders. From where the sun rises to where it sets, you inspire shouts of joy!

What are you supposed to feel when someone you spent part of your growing up years with is suddenly gone? Someone you weren't close too. I seldom even saw him as a young man. The picture in my mind is of red hair and freckles. Missing teeth. Loud little boy voices.

I grieve so much for his family. With one son suddenly gone and another on the brink. Will he be gone soon too? How do you survive the loss of a son? Of two sons at once? I have wept for them today. Prayed a little. I didn't know what to pray really. Around the ache in my chest I think all I got out was "Be with them please."

I know the one lost is not lost. He is with Jesus. Alive and well and happy. But what of the ones left behind? How will they make it through the days and nights ahead? It's them we grieve for. For the ones who are missing his smile and his voice. Who wonder why it happened.

I know this family is surrounded by love. By prayers. By the comforting presence of friends. There will be meals delivered and hospital bills covered. There will be songs sung and scripture read. Hugs. Tearful silences. Long talks, long "listens". We who are responsible to be His hands and feet will be there. And He will be there. In the empty still of the night He will be there. He never lets go! He never lets go, no matter how dark it gets. And this is my prayer for this family. That they will see Him. That they will feel His arms of love around them. That they will never forget, even in the darkest of times, that our God is good! That he loves them and grieves with them. That their son is safe in His arms and He will be there to help them through the loneliness, the despair, and anger. He will never leave them.

"I will bless the Lord who guides me;
even at night my heart instructs me.
I know the Lord is always with me.
I will not be shaken, for he is right
beside me.

No wonder my heart is filled with joy,
and my mouth shouts his praises!
My body rests in safety.
For you will not leave my soul among the
dead
or allow your godly one to rot in the grave.
You will show me the way of life,
granting me the joy of your presence
and the pleasures of living with you
forever.
Psalm 16:7-11

Sewing Machines and Updates

I thought this picture was appropriate considering yesterday was inauguration day. Plus, I've just been wanting to use it lol. I had a hard time tearing myself away from the news to go to home group. We don't have tv hooked up at our house (we watch lotsa movies tho) and so I like to have a peek at big events when I'm at Mom's house.

I haven't taken any pics of clothes yet. :( Or much of anything else lately for that matter. I'm also without my sewing machine (sniff, sniff...) The tension kept messing up and I couldn't get the darn thing to behave. So it's in the shop for a tune-up. I guess the sewing machine guy is real busy right now, so it'll probably be a good ten days before he calls me back. :'( I did find out one good thing though. It was apparently my ignorance and not the machine's fault that it was really bad at eating fabric. Not just super thin you expect it to be eaten fabric. Nope. Everything. I guess the plate I have on there is a zig-zag plate with a wider slot than a regular one, so everything gets sucked down there real easy. Hopefully I have something better in the box my machine came in, if not I'll have to fork out some of my meager spending cash to get one. So, I should be able to sew without so much silent swearing here in a couple weeks. :-)

I got off track with my weight loss goals for a few days last week. I ate too much. I didn't walk enough. But I am doing better now. It helps that the PMS and the first few days of my cycle are over, yay. Tough time to be strict, what with cravings and headaches and other discomforts. I'm really not excited to weigh myself in a week or two, thinking I'm not doing as well as I would like to be. I'm trying to figure out how to keep the big picture in perspective and not get so discouraged by the day to day and week to week that I give up too easily.

A Little Message For Momma Bug

So, apparently when Nate was talking about getting on an airplane he was thinking you were much farther away than Marvel Hill actually is. I was very confused about his desire to fly lol, so I'm enlightened now. He said (when he finally realized where it actually is) "Oh! That's right next door!" LOL I guess he was agreeing to ideas without actually listening to the whole story. Hehehe ;-) Anyway, if it's not going to work out this year we'll have to plan for next:) I wish our place was cleaned up enough to fit company! We'll have to have you guys out in a couple years...

Randomness

Saturday I tried to go take a shower. Joshua had been sitting quietly on the floor inventing lego cars. Perfectly happy. By the time I made it to the bathroom he was hanging on me wailing, "Don't go. Stay, stay" I calmly and then not so calmly explained to him that I was not going anywhere and I would be out in a few minutes. He wouldn't let up. I was starting to get good and mad, ordering him to just go. About that time he yelled desperately "I loooove you!"

What a goober, hehehe. I gave him a big snugly hug and he tripped happily off to return to his inventing leaving me shaking my head.

We read a book about firefighters we got from the library and Joshua got all excited about the kids in a parade wearing "future fireman" shirts. Guess what he asked me to make him? Being the obliging Mama I am I started work on it the first available morning...

I've been having a bit of fun recycling clothes that are not longer loved into something new. I'll try to get some pics and post them here pretty soon.

Brannon is very "buried" in lego land right now. He wasn't sure he would survive the revelation when I told him that at the first hint of warm weather the legos are going upstairs for a while. :-) I have to drag him outside anymore. Like father, like...

While we were standing in church Sunday Joshua was standing on a chair next to me with his arm around my neck. Pretty soon he started fingering my necklace ( a plastic whale tail that looks a bit like ivory or bone). He asked "Is this valuable?" When I hesitated slightly, "Uh" he proceeded to define valuable for me :-)

"Valuable means it's breakable," pause..."and pretty, that's what valuable means."

I asked B later what valuable means and he said "If it's not very valuable it's not worth much. If it's very valuable it's worth a lot." A lot of what? "Money"

I still can't believe the price of groceries! You'd think I'd be used to it by now. It's been this way a while. I still get stressed when the total comes up at the register. That's one area I need to remember to give to God. It's funny, all the rest of the financial stuff in our lives I don't worry about any more. I'm relaxed. I guess I'm still trying to take some responsibility to make this one work. Don't get me wrong, it is my responsibility to be...responsible. I just need to believe God's going to take care of it if I do my part. In theory I've got this one down, in practice, I still stress at the register lol.

Brannon hasn't stopped talking--to me--since I started typing. I've explained to him once that I am writing right now and may not respond to him. Hasn't phased him. Like Father, like...


Does anybody like the slideshow or is it something you don't look at??

I'm enjoying not sinking into my parking spot. When I gasped a little over the price hubby explained how much it would have cost if we had gotten gravel ourselves, one pickup load at a time and how much if someone other than our friendly neighbor had delivered it. Oh. Perspective sure is a handy thing:)

Well, enough rambling for now...;-)

The Apple Doesn't Fall Far... Installment #2

Wish I had some pics of the boys on their trail bikes (or tag-a-longs). These are very cool bikes that have a back wheel and the front attaches to the back of a big bike. We love to go biking as a family. Haven't done it in a while though. Hopefully when the weather gets a bit warmer we'll get into it again.

What a good helper!

The Apple Doesn't Fall Far... Installment #1

This first pic was taken by none other than my oldest son :-) (side note here: as a symbol of my resolutions to take control of my body and make the things I can control behave I'm also going to stop not posting pics of me... I'm coming out of hiding, so to speak:)

Aren't they adorable? :)

Driveway Work and Bonfire Fun

Fascinating machinery courtesy of a friendly neighbor. My father-in-law is the sort who is on speaking terms with most of his neighbors and trades work with quite a few of them. Imagine the joy of the men folk when an acquaintance with this beauty moved in right next door...

I think Brannon came pretty close to greasing his nose while watching the changing of the buckets lol.

Keeping out of the way...

Tending that bonfire is hard work as illustrated by one red-faced, sooty, dusty little boy.

Yesterday I had to forgo my parking spot to piles of gravel. Today it was all finished, just in time for me to park close with a van full of groceries. I was very relieved to not have to carry all those bags quite so far. :)

Our gorgeous sunset this evening.

The opposite side of the sky...

These bonfires, largely fueled by uprooted stumps (courtesy our friendly neighbor), have been cooking along for about three days now.

Sadly I think my greenhouse/all-purpose shed may have to wait until the house is sided to be finished beyond the frame. Not because it needs the siding, Nate wants to side over the edge of the lean-to. I know I'm not describing that right, but, oh well :) But because the siding is more urgent right now. My dear hubby doesn't want to have to re-plastic the house (can't imagine why lol!) and the stuff (which has lasted an amazing amount of time uncovered) is nearing the end of it's endurance. This just means that it will probably not be done in time for me to start seeds this year, which just means I will have to buy someone else's starts. :-)

I guess I should update on the whole weight loss thing. The point of putting it up here was so I could have some kind of accountability and lots of encouragement:) So, I weighed myself "officially" a few days ago. At mom's house, I don't keep a bathroom scale. With my shoes on, cause I was too lazy to take them off... 189.4. I've walked three times so far this week. Probably only averaging five laps. A far cry from the hour of walking we had worked up to, but it was good to be back at it. This has to be the biggest discouragement of all, working up to the same point in exercising and getting knocked back down over and over. But, our health has been steadily improving over the last year and I expect the good stuff to keep coming!!!

As for eating, I'm doing well with my portions except when I have certain problem foods for a meal. Things I probably shouldn't have in the house anyway--like tater tots, and cheese... I liked today, I didn't have time to snack this afternoon cause I slept like a log (worn out from grocery shopping I guess) then walked with Marci, then the boys and I went out to play in the fires, then it was dishes and dinner... It's when I can't get a nap that I want to eat the most. I guess my body thinks it needs food for energy when it's dragging, and my mind wants the comfort of eating something yummy, etc... So pray for our health and for my nap time binges. And for my cortisol level to finally normalize in the middle of the day. If you didn't know, last summer was the first time I have slept through the night consistently (or at all!) in years. When I was tested my cortisol levels were nighttime normal for the first time in nearly two years of testing. This means that I don't wake up every morning feeling like I haven't slept in a week. This is a very good thing. I still panic a little if I go a couple of nights in a row with trouble sleeping. I love my sleep and am so happy to have it back!!! :-) My morning levels of cortisol were normal first thing and other hormones that were crazy high before were almost normal (again, for the first time in almost two years of dieting, supplements, and getting tested) This is very exciting to see real measurable progress at last! I didn't get tested last fall and I want to get tested again in the next couple months. I haven't been able to do all my supplements and stuff because we've been getting the boys some much needed dental work. I've kept up the midday DGL which is to help raise my cortisol, but that's it. I'm still hoping for some good progress:)

So, that's a little bit of how I'm doing. Thanks for listening and praying. Blessings to all you guys. :)

Momma Bug, Have You Seen These? From 2007

I know you have the group photos (or I should say "some":) And I'm sure you have pics of Fancy. But I was just looking through my pictures and thought you might enjoy these, I sure did :-)