What's That Sound?

That tap-tap-tapping just outside the kitchen door? When it's not your little boy creating something. I know because he is sitting in front of me with a streaming nose and aching eyes, smiling a little at Pooh and Tigger on the tv screen.

It's a bit too quiet for someone knocking. Too persistent.


It's my chickens pecking vigorously on the steps! LOL They are so funny :) I have no idea what they found tasty up there. Who knows. Silly birds.

Finally some new pics

Miss Haylie during her party
On our hike...B caught a baby lizard

J looking to see if the lizard ran high up in the tree

Ramblin'

This morning soon plunged downhill into a morass of bad attitudes. Everybody. But especially Mama. I let the runny nose, whining, lack of sunlight, back talking and short time get to me. Worse, I listened to the voice of my enemy when he said 'You're stuck here again. Are your kids always going to be sick like this? Are you ever going to get along with your husband? What kind of Savior makes you go through this day after day?" (I know, I know! Bad call on my part!)


After slamming a few doors and complaining that I was going to be late for an appointment (while Papa was dealing with the previously mentioned backtalk) I finally burst into tears. I cried all the way to town. Then I wiped my eyes, squared my shoulders and walked up to the door. Where I was greeted by a dear friend who I knew without a doubt would set me straight. Still holding onto my bad 'tude I answered his question "How are you?" with "Do I have to answer that?"

Together we worked on errant muscles and an errant heart at the same time. I left with a repentant and joyful heart(and sore shoulders). I remembered once again Who I am. And who my Savior really is too. I bounced through the rest of the day (so far:) I think my favorite part though was when he said "You and my wife are going to be great friends" That made me so happy. We've been slowly working on getting to know each other. But, it is slow going with two quiet people! It's been a long time since I had a close girlfriend and I'm glad to be in the position of building such a relationship.

I was so thankful to get the encouragement, exhortation and prayer I was so desperately in need of today. My Jesus is so faithful and so patient. Thank you, Jesus for being so patient!! :} I love You so much!

Phooey

Well, I've been trying to post pics of Haylie's birthday party Saturday, and our hiking adventures yesterday. But blogger, or my Internet connection(?) refuses to allow it. I get a page not found page every time I try.

I shall have to come up with something to write about I guess ::)

My Big Birthday Present

With such excellent hints as these you only get one guess on what it is :D

If You Have Ten Minutes--Roland Baker on Living by Faith

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qTPutwskzOw

Psalm 27

The Lord is my light and my salvation--
so why should I be afraid?
The Lord protects me from danger--
so why should I tremble?

When evil people come to destroy me,
when my enemies and foes attack me,
they will stumble and fall.
Though a mighty army surrounds me,
my heart will know no fear.
Even if they attack me,
I remain confident.

The one thing I ask of the Lord--
the thing I seek most--
is to live in the house of the Lord all the
days of my life,
delighting in the Lord's perfections
and meditating in His temple.
For He will conceal me there when
troubles come;
He will hide me in His sanctuary.
He will place me out of reach on a high rock.
Then I will hold my head high,
above my enemies who surround me.
At His tabernacle I will offer sacrifices with
shouts of joy,
singing and praising the Lord with music.

Listen to my pleading, O Lord.
Be merciful and answer me!
My heart has heard you say, "Come and
talk with me."
And my heart responds, "Lord I
am coming."
Do not hide yourself from me.
Do not reject your servant in anger.
You have always been my helper.
Don't leave me now; don't abandon me,
O God of my salvation!
Even if my mother and father abandon me,
the Lord will hold me close.

Teach me how to live, O Lord,
Lead me along the path of honesty,
for my enemies are waiting for me to fall.
Do not let me fall into their hands.
For they accuse me of things I've never done
and breathe out violence against me.
Yet I am confident that I will see the Lord's
goodness
while I am here in the land of the living.

Wait patiently for the Lord.
Be brave and courageous.
Yes, wait patiently for the Lord.

A Glimpse of Heaven

Dear ones who have gone ahead, we rejoice for you. You have no more pain, or sorrow.

We grieve that we have you no longer. We long for your smiling faces and warm hugs. We miss you. How we miss you.

We are in awe of the visions granted us who still walk, earth-bound. Glimpses of glory and fire. Beauty beyond description. Fire in the Father's eyes and streaming from his hand. Fire filling you, making you.

We are amazed to remember that you are not just gone from us. Not just in the Father's arms. But you are a bigger part of this battle of faith than ever. You stand at the Father's side, sit in his lap, dance at his feet. You gaze into His eyes of love.

And you speak.

You point. "Look! Look there! See Your beautiful ones? Do you see their faith! Look what they are doing now!! Oh, Daddy, send them help!"

I am sure there is so much more you get to do and say in heaven. I can't wait to see more. To know more. I am so grateful for this glimpse through another's eyes, this picture of heaven. I love you Daddy so much!!! I love who You are, and all You do. You never cease to amaze me with Your wonders! Glory be to You God! By your mighty power at work within us you are able to accomplish infinitely more than we would ever dare to ask or hope.

Thank you Abba! Thank you. :)

My River Boys

Until We Meet Again

Robyn, I feel so blessed to have the memory of your smiling face. How radiant you were. My great-grandma might say "like an angel". I remember you laughing and bright-spirited in spite of hardship. Full of faith and hope.


I wondered for a moment if you would worry about your children left behind. But, then, I imagined you in the Father's arms, gazing into His eyes and seeing His love for them. His love that is so great we can never fully understand it even though we experience it daily. I knew then there was no way you could be worried for them.


I heard amazing stories about your family the day you went home. Mingled with their grief was faith, hope, obedience, joy, and amazing courage.


Were you watching the night your friends gathered around the mortuary, knocked on the doors and shouted "Robyn, come out!" :) Just like you asked them too. My mom said she felt bad, here you were, safe in the Father's arms at last, and we were trying to get you back. My boys were there with me. We went home a little earlier than the others to go to bed. The next day they asked "Did she come out?" I told them you were too happy in heaven to come back here. How they giggled.


Your family is on my heart tonight. I keep thinking of Max. I guess because I have him in my Sunday school class sometimes. And Bradley and Jack and Kate. And Matt. How lonely he must be. We will keep lifting them up in prayer and in our lives. Giving them hugs, and meals, and anything we can do. We love you Robyn.


Until we meet again.


"Your unfailing love, oh Lord, is as vast as the heavens;
your faithfulness reaches beyond the clouds.
Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains,
your justice like the ocean depths...
How precious is your unfailing love, O God!
All humanity finds shelter in the shadow of your wings.
You feed them on the abundance of your own house,
letting them drink from your rivers of delight.
For you are the fountain of life,
the light by which we see."

Psalm 36:5-9

Hunting Bullfrogs And Catching Smiles :)

A Place I Enjoy

The prayer chapel at Bethel Church, Redding Ca

Letting Go

Here I am wide awake in the middle of the night, third time in a row. I'm thinking maybe a little writing will help settle my brain. Or not. Whatever.


For many years I've been gathering a host of beautiful dreams, visions, and plans. Some of them from God's heart to mine. Some of them from my heart to His. Year after year of struggle and pain I felt shattered. Because it hurt so much to hope yet have no end of the pain in sight. Dream fulfillment seemed impossible. Even the one most basic thing I wanted to accomplish here on earth, being a great mother, seemed absolutely, hopelessly out of reach. I kept dragging myself to my feet time and time again. At last I felt what it was not to hope at all. It was as if someone had turned the lights out in a windowless room. Then I discovered that hope unfulfilled was not, after all, the most painful thing. But, God rescued me in His marvelous way.


Still I felt lost and alone much of the time. Yet, I never stopped saying "God, you are so good! You are all good, all the time, always good!" and I experienced God's love in many marvelous ways, He visited me often, I thought. I knew I was on a journey. When depression closed over me yet again I wondered if my life would ever change. Would I be trapped in this cycle forever? He nudged me softly, coaxing in His ever gentle way. I asked for help at last. Dear friends surrounded me and lifted me up. They reminded me how God sees me. They washed my feet and put a crown on my head and a royal robe on my shoulders (literally!). And my dearest Friend of all set me freer than I have ever been in my life. I am still in awe! :)


What a fascinating few weeks it has been. I am constantly learning to redirect old thought patterns. It's not all that hard, I don't feel that way any more; they are just old habits. But I must be vigilant. At the same time I am bursting with JOY so much of the time I am continually amazed! Now that the shell, the lie, I believed was me is gone I can experience my Jesus' love so much more vividly than before. I fall in love again every day. Sometimes many times a day!


Now, for the Letting Go part :) All those visions of my life; the ones that have not yet come to pass. The things I believed were out of reach while I lay in misery. They haven't changed or gone away. But my picture of how my life will look needs to go. He is once again coaxing me. And I, one by one, am peeling my stubborn fingers off the picture I clung to for so long. I'm excited really. I can't begin to imagine the adventures in store for me. I'm not "planning" anything but today right now. I am relearning the glorious joy of being with my two not-so-little ones. And just waiting. Happily. Peacefully. Expectantly. I know I can't even Imagine what He has in store for me :D


And that was a lot of adjectives.

OK Matt, Pics of Nate to Prove I Have Them, LOL

Cutie Pie pics ;-)

Such a thoughtful pose
If we are holding a weapon we must try out the fierce face to go with

Just plain adorable :)

Checkin out what Papa's up to...